It has been a long time since I recommended books on my website, and to compensate, I will recommend three at once! This is because I am not just recommending the books, but their author—Jesper Juul, the Danish family therapist and author of numerous books on parent-child relationships and upbringing. His most famous work is […]
Improving Communication
- Lessons of Love
- Marianne Williamson
- Mental health
- Parents and Children
- Paths of Psychotherapy
- Recommended books
- Relationships
- Stephen Covey
- Systemic Psychotherapy
16.03.2013
The Power of Meta-Questions
In fact, the topic of assertiveness is nothing other than the central idea of the four authors of the book on Crucial Conversations, which I have repeatedly recommended: how to avoid the traps of passive or aggressive behavior (and how to maintain the Safety Zone). Similarly to assertiveness theory, the authors here are concerned with […]
How would you react if someone told you that you have the right to say what you think? Or to be treated with respect? Or that you have the right to be happy? When I first encountered the rights of the assertive person, I thought: “Well, of course we have these rights; there’s no need […]
07.03.2013
Meta-Rules and Human Communication
I continue the theme of meta-communication as the only means of breaking out of the vicious circle of “games without end,” as systemic psychotherapy refers to the series of repetitive conflict interactions that never lead to resolution. One way to step out of this vicious circle and to look from a higher (meta-) level is […]
09.02.2013
Communication and “Safety Zone”
The best way to understand how we shift from the “content aspect” to the “relationship aspect” in communication, when conversations become difficult, is through examples. The authors of “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High”, which I cannot recommend enough, have done an excellent job with this complex and nuanced task. Here I […]
According to systemic psychotherapy, very often a problem is nothing more than a repeating series of unsuccessful attempts to solve it. Most commonly, these are recurring relational patterns with other people that escalate into conflict each time and lead to a dead end. Systemic therapists call these patterns “endless games,” and they are among the […]
Which Comes First – the Chicken or the Egg? If you can answer this question, you will understand who is responsible for the way you feel and react when communication with another person becomes difficult. And if you do not know the correct answer, here is my proposal: you are responsible. If you understand this—not […]
28.01.2013
On the Two Levels of Communication
One of the most important things to understand about communication is that when we converse with another person, we are not only exchanging information – we are also exchanging emotional attitudes. In systemic psychotherapy, these two layers are called the “content aspect” and the “relationship aspect.” Of the two, what truly matters for successful communication […]
24.01.2013
Start with Heart
The way to deal with our primal fight-or-flight reactions (which lead to the two killers of dialogue – silence or aggression) is by working on the mindset we bring into a conversation. These attitudes are present from the very moment we encounter the other person and continue throughout the entire interaction. Typically, we are not […]
22.01.2013
The Physiology of Communication
If you want to improve your communication skills, here is one practical idea suggested by the authors of “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High”: “one good way to increase your self-awareness is to explore your Style Under Stress.” This is critically important, because when our sense of safety in communication is threatened, […]
08.01.2013
Communication Is Like Breathing
We communicate all the time. Just like we breathe. Even when we remain silent in the presence of others, we still communicate. Sometimes silence even speaks louder than words. We also communicate when we are alone – this time with ourselves, having endless inner dialogues, immersed in the whirlwind of thoughts. We tend to think […]
I recommend this book – Crucial Conversations, with the subtitle Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. The authors are four men with extensive experience in this field – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. If I were to give in to the impulse of my rising sign Aries, I would recommend […]
