The theory of emotional intelligence is relatively new—the model was first proposed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990, defining EI as the ability to accurately perceive, understand, and manage emotions. When this skill is manifested in an interpersonal context, it leads to greater understanding with others, a capacity for empathy, influence, and leadership. The widespread popularity of this theory came five years later with the publication of Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence,” which enjoyed immense interest and became a bestseller—translated into 30 languages with over 5 million copies sold.
The reason for this is simple—emotional intelligence is the primary factor for success in life. It is this magical “meta-ability” that determines how effectively we can use our other abilities. And although success means different things to different people, what is common is that it always includes having (1) good physical and (2) mental health, (3) harmonious relationships with others, and (4) a fulfilling life realization. Even if we are very wealthy and have climbed to the top of the social hierarchy, if we lack any of these four things, we will be unhappy.
Emotional Intelligence and IQ
Researchers have established that there is no correlation between the intelligence quotient (IQ) and the level of emotional intelligence (EQ); i.e., they are independent of each other. A person can have a high IQ and low EQ or, conversely, a high EQ and low IQ. And when there is a discrepancy between the two, the more important factor for success in the workplace is high EQ. Many people with an IQ of 160 work for people with an IQ of 100, if the former have low interpersonal intelligence and the latter have high.
Also, the most successful people are not those with the greatest gift or talent in a given field, but those with the greatest motivation for success (and this is one of the skills of emotional intelligence). This is because IQ measures only the capacity for academic achievement and says nothing about a person’s ability to cope with the vicissitudes of fate.
Of course, our cognitive intelligence quotient contributes to success in the workplace, but at best, it accounts for about 20% of all factors. The remaining factors are social background, luck, and emotional intelligence. And here comes the important part—of all the factors for success, only emotional intelligence makes success dependent on our own efforts. It is what helps us overcome the limitations of the external environment and realize our dreams. Unlike IQ, which is considered a relatively fixed value, emotional intelligence is a quality that we can change and develop throughout our entire lives.
Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health
Unlike the lack of correlation between IQ and EQ, the relationship between emotional intelligence and human mental health is quite different. Here, it is the exact opposite—a high level of emotional intelligence means a high level of mental health, and conversely, a low level of emotional intelligence also means a low level of mental health. It is precisely the way we relate to our emotions that is decisive for our psychological well-being.
Another important aspect of the link between emotional intelligence and mental health is the ability to differentiate various emotions (to catch their different nuances). Our emotions are as differentiated as the person experiencing them is differentiated (i.e., aware).
“Since so much of what we know depends on our feelings, to be immersed in vague and dimly perceived feelings is to be enveloped in a vague world. With the greater release of people’s consciousness regarding their feelings, the need for vigilance concerning threatening things in the surrounding world decreases significantly—because the liberated person, instead of hiding from their feelings, uses them as a guide interpreting the world in which they live.”
— David Viscott, The Language of Feelings
Feelings are the most direct reaction of our perception, and thinking follows them; therefore, Viscott compares perceiving the world through the intellect to studying a country by reading a book instead of living in it.
“If you are not inside your feelings, you are not in the real world. Therefore, the truth lies in the feelings—what you do with them will determine whether you live with truth or a lie. Feelings can be covered up, denied, rationalized, but a painful sensation will not disappear until it passes through its natural way of development. In fact, when a painful feeling is avoided, its painful consequences often persist for a longer time, and it then becomes extremely difficult for a person to deal with it.”
— David Viscott, The Language of Feelings
For me, the best metaphor describing emotional intelligence is the relationship between a parent and a child. The mind is the parent, and the emotions are the child. High EI is when there is a good connection between them—the inner child (emotions) feels that it can rely on the parent (the mind) as a source of understanding, security, and support. And if we did not have such a parent in our childhood, we can always create one for ourselves. We can give it to ourselves. This is yet another example of the direct link between emotional intelligence and mental health—both are quantities that change over time if we put in the appropriate effort.
Emotional Intelligence and the Future
It is becoming clear that emotional intelligence is not simply another concept in psychology. It is the bearer of a new paradigm in our approach to life and the rules of success—shifting the paradigm of rationalism that has dominated humanity over recent centuries (which placed human reason on a pedestal and viewed emotions as an enemy that interferes with objective judgment and behavioral control). Research in the field of emotional intelligence is changing all this, as it unequivocally shows that a healthy connection with emotions is the decisive factor for our psychological well-being. Therefore, instead of suppressing them, we must listen to their wise counsel.
The new paradigm leads to a change in the rules of success in the workplace. In the past, people were treated as cogs in a machine; obedience and diligence were all that was expected of them. At that time, one succeeded by being detached and rational. The shift in the business world has also led to a change in the primary competitive advantage—it concerns people and their loyalty, motivation, passion, creativity, and commitment. This advantage cannot be gained if people are treated as mere cogs in a system.
Emotional intelligence is not just our hope for overcoming the limitations we were born with. It is the hope for a more humane world, in which the manipulations and abuses of the rational mind will be corrected and restrained by the messages of the heart. We have been taught to view emotions as a threat to the rational management of our lives, but the truth is quite the opposite—they are the true foundation for the rational organization of human existence. As well as for success in life.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
