This is a continuation of the previous post, “Containing by Restraining,” which introduced the work with the fire element in our psyche—passion and desire. Its purpose is to present the perspective of analytical psychology regarding experiences we all know to some degree: abandonment and rejection in love. This allows us to see the meaning of the suffering caused by these events—namely, that the time has come to get to know the deeper, spiritual dimension of love.
When we experience a profound romantic disappointment or any other event that thwarts our desires, it is a sign that the process of calcination has begun within us—the first of the four stages of alchemical work. This is the period of our lives when we work with the fire element—a symbol of our passions and desires.
For comparison, the other three stages are linked to the remaining three elements: solution works with water (emotions); coagulation with earth (the hardening or materialization of our ideas into the world of concrete forms); and sublimation with air (thinking and the human ability to use imagination to internalize external objects into inner images, symbols, and qualities of the self).
I will not present all these stages, although they are also very important, as those interested can read the book I am citing: “The Dynamics of the Unconscious,” Seminars in Psychological Astrology, Vol. 2, by Liz Greene and Howard Sasportas. I chose to present the stage of calcination because, in my work lately, I frequently encounter people undergoing exactly this process.
In the symbolic language of alchemy, it is said that the alchemist heats the prima materia until the liquid evaporates, leaving only ash. During this time, the vessel in which this happens—the alembic—remains sealed until the processing of its contents is complete. Here are Liz Greene’s explanations:
“The imagery around calcination almost always involves the frustration of desire until the feelings are exhausted and the ‘old king’ or the wild animal is burned down to its bare essence. Fire purifies from impurities, and here the impurity is liquid—water, the metaphor for the longing for union.
The animals usually associated with calcination are the wolf and the lion. From time immemorial, these have been the animals associated with passion, hunger, pride, arrogance, and desire. In their natural state, these animals are not ‘bad’; but they cause havoc and destruction because they are wild and fierce, destroying everything in their path. Passions in their natural state are not considered bad or devilish in alchemy; but they are dangerous and must be transformed into the gold that was always potentially contained within them…”
As it becomes clear, the meaning of these processes is spiritual transformation. Lead turns into gold; the raw primary matter turns into divine essence; the untamed energy of instincts and desires is tamed and subordinated to the will of the Higher Self. While the word “transformation” refers to the entire alchemical process of spiritual rebirth, calcination specifically deals with desires and intense passions.
Accordingly, the meaning of the suffering we endure during romantic disappointments is to realize that there is no better way to master our strongest desires than by not getting what we want. There is no other way to deal with our pride and arrogance than by experiencing defeat and rejection.
Taming the instinctive part of ourselves, practicing humility and accepting a higher will over our own ego-will, maturing and separating, realizing our boundaries and the subsequent sense of uniqueness and individual destiny—all these are the gifts of disappointed and unrequited love—of unfulfilled desire.
If our soul has decided that it needs precisely this type of experience for its development, there is no avoiding the bitter cup. We cannot forcibly accelerate the burning process to escape the suffering sooner, but there is still something we can do. It is to see the meaning of what is happening to us and use it for its true purpose—the time has come to know the inner, the true dimension of love.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
