What should we do when the emotions of anger are too strong? When neither the appropriate release techniques nor communication skills seem to help us diffuse their explosive energy? There is a third perspective for dealing not only with anger but with all intense emotions. It is called “containing by holding”:
“I think the problem, ultimately, is not so much ‘getting your anger out’ as it is developing enough faith in your own capacity to contain such powerful emotions. The process of true healing and forgiveness, it seems to me, depends on detaching yourself from identifying with the person or situation that caused the original hurt; and this can only happen if you recognize your own feelings and experience compassion for them.” — Liz Greene, Dynamics of the Unconscious, Vol. 2
This is an excellent formulation of how to develop the right attitude toward experiencing intense emotions during the phase of Calcination (the psychological work of transforming desire and the element of fire). This is best understood through the image of the Alembic.
The Alembic: The Vessel of the Soul
“The alembic is the vessel in which the alchemical work takes place… It is the embodiment of containment—being able to hold the agitations, emotions, and conflicts that burst to the surface without exploding and circling around, expressing them everywhere. The alembic represents the middle ground between repression, which denies these powerful subconscious eruptions, and possession, which drags the individual down into the simmering and overwhelms the ego’s ability to make responsible choices. In a way, the alembic is a metaphor for the capacity of consciousness to contain…
The symbol of the alembic is very important for psychotherapy. When subconscious conflicts begin to surface, the person is compelled to want to express them in their environment. All of us at some point want to break the seal… simply to get rid of the intense heat… But if a person is truly committed to inner work, they are not able to break the seal. Repression is inappropriate; it was suppression that partially caused the problem in the first place. But exploding is also inappropriate. It is a terribly difficult situation.” — Liz Greene
The image of the alembic is fascinating because it accurately represents the experience of emotions boiling within our bodies. Those with strong passions know how difficult it is to manage such internal heat. What not everyone knows, however, is that this heat is necessary for the processes of inner transformation. This is why it is so important to be able to endure it to the end (not to “break the seal” of the alembic halfway through).
Staying in the Fire: Why We Wait for the “Ash”
For people in marriages that still generate strong negative feelings but they cannot leave (or at jobs that also cause much anger but they still work), here is a bit of comfort. Perhaps this is good for them. To leave something while it still generates inner fire (strong passions) means to interrupt the process before reaching the end. True completion comes only when we reach the ash (transformed desire). As long as we have strong emotions, it is a sign that there are still aspects within us that need us to remain in that situation until the “impurities” of our desiring nature burn out completely.
Calcination is the first of the four stages of spiritual transformation—and the most difficult. What helps in passing through it is the knowledge of the importance of being able to contain our intense emotions. In doing so, we do not suppress them (meaning we are in contact with them), but we also do not discard them irresponsibly.
As Liz Greene writes, this requires faith. Faith not only that we can endure the heat of suffering but that the suffering has meaning.
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In the language of alchemy: this meaning is the purification of the spirit from the impurities of matter.
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In the language of psychology: it is the transformation of childish desires, the acceptance of limitations, and their conversion into the energy of love.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
Note: The quotations are translated from Bulgarian and are not presented as verbatim citations.
