The Transformation of Thinking During Calcination
For those who are passing through the fire of calcination—the purification of our desiring nature through suffering—there is something else of great importance that needs to be understood. The primary object of transformation at this first stage of spiritual transformation is thinking itself. In other words, at the core of the alchemical work at this stage lies the way we think: how we perceive ourselves, the world, and our place within it; how we interpret what happens to us.
The Resistance of the Mind in the Service of Ego Defenses
The first challenge here is the mind’s ingenuity in evading what is obvious. It is literally as slippery as a fish. The expression “like the devil reading the Gospel” describes very precisely how the mind operates at this point. It is no coincidence that some authors (for example, Eckhart Tolle) place an equals sign between the ego and the mind—the mind is an excellent refuge for those parts of us that resist change. When I speak with people who are in calcination and try to draw their attention to a certain fact or inner contradiction, they often respond with “yes, but…” and begin to argue instead of attempting to understand what is being pointed out to them.
Another difficulty in dealing with the resistance of the ego-mind is that it directs our attention outward rather than inward. It prefers to preoccupy us with thoughts about what the other person (or people) are or are not doing, and with how we might get them to give us what we want. In doing so, it avoids the more important question: what is it that now needs to be changed within ourselves?
And here comes the third trap—when we feel powerless to change the external circumstances of our lives, we develop a victim mentality. We fail to see that we do, in fact, have a choice, but we do not want to make it, because it would require accepting limitation and respecting the other person’s right to free will. In such situations, I am always reminded of Viktor Frankl’s thought: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Turning Thinking into an Ally of the Soul
This is why I want to add further clarification regarding the stage of calcination and how to pass through it—the inner transformation in question begins with a transformation of thinking. Like a knife that, in the hands of a murderer, takes a human life, but in the hands of a surgeon saves one, thinking in itself can be neutral. It is connected to the ego only to the extent that it serves its hidden interests: resisting pain and the inevitable limitations of life, and refusing to relinquish its dominant role. But when we begin to care more about understanding the meaning of what is happening to us, thinking becomes an ally of the soul.
The transformation of thinking during calcination is profound. It is like believing that the Earth revolves around the Sun, and suddenly realizing that the truth is exactly the opposite. This is what the dethroning of ego-dominated thinking looks like—we give up the childish wish that the world revolve around us and our desires. In its place, we develop a sense of humility, and even reverence, toward the mysterious source of life that orchestrates the truly important events that happen to us.
Seeking the Meaning of What Happens to Us
For this reason, the most essential condition for transforming the suffering of our frustrated passions into an act of spiritual initiation is to engage our thinking with questions about the spiritual meaning of what is unfolding. Questions such as: “What exactly is life trying to tell me by not giving me what I want?” “What can I turn this experience into?” “What lesson is my soul learning right now?” “Where is the area of my inner expansion at this moment?”
The Act of Sacrifice
Another crucial point is to understand that the transition from an ego-dominated life to a soul-led life is inevitably grounded in sacrifice. The most neurotic part of our thinking—the victim mentality—is the expression of a sacrifice that has not been fulfilled. And the most important sacrifice we are called to make is the desire not to suffer. I am referring here to the pain that is an inevitable part of life and that, together with pleasure, forms the two poles of the pain–happiness duality.
Only after we have passed through the suffering involved in uniting the opposites within ourselves do we become capable of loving truly for the first time. Once we have lived through the pain of rejection and frustrated desire, we are no longer afraid of being hurt or rejected. The ability to relate to others from this new, fear-free space has a radically different quality.
(See the articles “Marie-Louise von Franz: The Sacrifice and That Which Is Sacrificed Are One and the Same—the Self” and “Liz Greene on What True Sacrifice Is.”)
A New Definition of a Fulfilled Life
Thus, the most important requalification of consciousness at this stage of inner transformation is the understanding that the burning process of calcination is a process of sacrifice. Very often people become stuck at this stage because they do not understand what it means to sacrifice something that is valuable in order to gain something that is “even more valuable.”
What could be more valuable than loving and being loved, being healthy, successful, and enjoying the pleasures of life? These, however, are the values of our earthly self. The soul incarnates in order to develop, and development takes place outside our comfort zone. When we begin to distinguish between a “happy life” and a “fulfilled life,” we take the first step toward synchronizing the desires of the ego with the needs of the soul.
“Burn in order to give light” is an expression that perhaps best describes the spiritual meaning of suffering at the stage of transformation through fire. Another similar saying is that if you want to become a light for others, you must learn to endure the heat of the fire (Viktor Frankl). When I picture the faces of people I know who have burned in the flames of calcination without fleeing from them, I see the heroism of their souls. I see their passion, commitment, and immense capacity for love. Without these qualities, they would not have been able to endure the burning.
Conclusion
Calcination is hell only for those who fear pain, and an invaluable opportunity for those who are willing to make the sacrifice and care for their soul. For this alchemical reversal to occur, we need the Mercurius of the alchemists—the function of thinking that has been differentiated from our desiring nature and is therefore able to look at things neutrally, perceiving the meaning of what is happening to us.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
