Here is one idea from Stephen Covey on how to “become rich” — start accumulating assets in what he calls the “Emotional Bank Account.” This is the metaphor he uses to describe how much trust has been built in a relationship, and it measures “the sense of security you have with another person.”
“If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve. Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to. I can even make mistakes and that trust level, that emotional reserve, will compensate for it. My communication may not be clear, but you’ll get my meaning anyway.
When trust account is high, communication is easy, instant and effective.
But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, eventually my Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn. The trust level gets very low. Then what flexibility do I have? None. I’m walking on mine fields. I have to be very careful of everything I say. I measure every word. It’s tension city, memo haven. And many organizations are filled with it. Many families are filled with it. Many marriages are filled with it.
Our most constant relationships, like marriage, require our most constant deposits.”
— Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I have written before about the crucial importance of trust. This time, however, I felt like sharing Covey’s thought again, because it reveals in a very clear way that trust is the true capital we possess in our relationships. And like any capital, it requires care, effort, attention, prudence… and time.
“Remember that a quick fix is a mirage. Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments.”
— Stephen Covey
