“The mystery of love gives rise to countless false stories… However, when we abandon these false theories, we open ourselves to experiencing love in all its richness. Of all the misconceptions about love, the most widely held is the belief that falling in love is love. The fact is that the only reason for falling in love is conscious or unconscious sexual desire. And the ecstasy of the feeling that characterizes falling in love invariably passes—which is to say, falling in love is not lasting. It is precisely when the falling in love ends that the opportunity for people to truly love one another opens up—or to part ways…
Falling in love is not an expansion of one’s ego-boundaries; it is only their partial and temporary loss. The act of expansion requires effort, whereas falling in love does not. Once the charming moment of falling in love has passed, the boundaries return to their former places; the individual has lost their illusions but has not enriched their experience. When boundaries expand, however, they remain expanded forever. Real love is an experience of constant expansion, whereas falling in love is not…
The myth of romantic love is a terrible lie. Millions of people waste enormous energy in a desperate and useless attempt to make the reality of their lives conform to the unreality of the myth. Sexual activity and love, although they may appear together, often have no connection, as they are different phenomena. Making love is not love. But falling in love and the sexual act, if they continue with the development of true love, give us a foretaste of the ultimate mystical ecstasy we can achieve through true love. If falling in love is not love, it is at least part of the great and secret plan of love.”
— M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
If this is the answer that the ‘Lessons of Love’ have brought you now, examine your beliefs about what love is and whether ‘love’ and ‘falling in love’ mean the same thing to you. If they do, it might be wise to put this to the test. See if the impermanence of the sexual desire that ignites passion at the start of a relationship isn’t reflecting onto your belief that love is equally fleeting. For, according to the laws of the invisible reality that some call God, love is not just the most enduring thing in this life—it is eternal.
