“We must understand that evolution is achieved through conflict. Criticism, dispute, differences in opinions and ideas are catalysts. The essence of harmony does not mean the blissful ideal we imagine to exist in the ‘perfect relationship.’ Bliss is not growth. It comes at times, as a result of struggle. Harmony can coexist with the contradiction necessary for revelation, since people may disagree with one another and yet their differing ideas may contain no hatred. People may criticize one another and yet still feel the overall harmonious flow on higher levels, which transcends temporary corrections… Conflict is often a source of enlightenment, although too much conflict will disrupt harmony.”
— Martin Schulman, Karmic Astrology, Vol. 3
From my experience in exploring human relationships, I have come to understand that there is often confusion about what harmonious relationships actually are. Most people assume that harmonious relationships are free of conflict and that people live in understanding and agreement. Yet the truth is often quite the opposite. I have seen “harmonious relationships” fall apart because they lacked spark and passion. And conversely, I know marriages in which spouses continue to struggle for their truth, yet there is more love felt within the relationship.
As is usually the case when it comes to the psyche, here too we are dealing with a paradox – how can we be harmonious when we are so different? And, as usual, the paradox is resolved when we find a third solution – a different perspective in which both sides exist without contradicting one another. Finding this solution is the true challenge of harmonious relationships, because it can only be found on a higher level of awareness. Martin Schulman has expressed this very well, and I am quoting him here to encourage those of you who are afraid to express your authenticity out of fear of disrupting harmony with others.
One of the messages in conflict-management trainings is that “conflict is not a bad thing; only the way it is managed can be bad.”
With a wish for harmonious conflicts in your lives!
*Translation from Bulgarian
