“But what is this force that pushes us, both as individuals and as a species, to grow against the natural resistance of our own lethargy? We have already mentioned it—it is love. It is defined as: ‘The will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.’
When we grow, we put in the effort because we love ourselves. Through love, we elevate ourselves. It is only through our love for others that we can help them elevate themselves as well. Love—the extension of the self—is the essence of evolution. It is evolution in action. These developmental forces manifest in humanity as human love. Love is the miraculous force that overcomes the natural law of entropy.”
— M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Traveled”
According to M. Scott Peck, love is the effort of growth, not a flight into a temporary fusion with a partner. It is not the final state where our problems disappear, but the way we solve them. This is the good news: love is the fuel for our development. It overcomes the impulse to give up on intimacy and withdraw into ourselves. It is also the reward—the joy of an expanding self that remains even after the “falling in love” phase ends.
If this is the answer you received from the “Lessons of Love,” perhaps the most important thing for you right now is the conscious effort to understand yourself or another, even if it doesn’t look like “romance” at first. As M. Scott Peck says, “falling in love” and “love” are different things—real love begins when the initial infatuation ends and the effort to expand one’s consciousness begins.
