There is something very important that people who have begun the process of spiritual transformation should know: this process lasts a long time. Very long. Discouragingly long. So long that one always passes through a stage of despair. This is why serious books in the field of spirituality do not give easy recipes like “do this and you will achieve that,” and instead warn that the process of spiritual transformation is complex and lengthy.
The perspective of Jungian analytical psychology, which I will present below, shares this view. Before that, however, I will share a dream I had some time ago on this subject. In it, I saw a friend with whom I share common spiritual interests climbing a rock. The rock was very steep, almost vertical. He, turning his head toward me, said that it took him ten minutes to take a single step.
The dream came to me during a period when I felt I was treading water—that my life was at a standstill, and I didn’t know what to do to change it. I interpreted it by connecting the climb up the rock with the vertical dimension of the Spirit, and the man with my “inner man” (my animus). I linked the ten minutes for making one step in the dream dimension with the ten years since I had been walking the “narrow and steep path.” The only thing I didn’t understand was: why so slow?
Why ten whole years to take just one step?
Now I know—this is not just any step. It is the most important step. Once we take it, we are never the same. The transformation is so slow because it encompasses not only the change of our conscious attitudes but also the assimilation of contents from the collective unconscious. The change taking place is radical because it leads to the birth of our new Self. It is a process of purifying the Spirit from projections into matter, filled with endless repetition and regression until the “distillation” is complete.
“The prima materia must be constantly washed and distilled, and therefore the first activity of the opus is distilling, washing, and cleaning, again and again. Here it says nine times, elsewhere fifteen times, and some recommend ten years. This really is a very long process and sometimes means looking at the same problem endlessly from different sides. Therefore, in alchemical texts, it is often hinted that this part can last a long time and is characterized by infinite repetition—just as, unfortunately, we fall again and again into complexes that have not been reacted to and are repeated. But through this hard work, the matter is whitened.”
— Marie-Louise von Franz, Alchemy: An Introduction to the Symbolism and the Psychology, p. 248
According to Marie-Louise von Franz, ten years is the period necessary for a powerful archetypal experience to be assimilated by the conscious Ego and fully integrated into one’s life. Jungian analysis can also last ten years, accompanying the individual through the most difficult part of their individuation process. Sometimes this time is longer, other times shorter. The difference comes from the depth of transformation the soul has chosen. Therefore, in this case, we are not talking about solving psychological problems (psychotherapy); we are talking about evolution ( individuation).
The number seven is also a symbol of evolution, which we associate with the seven days of the week or the seven planets in the horoscope.
“…the problem is that one has to stay in prison for a long time, which represents evolution, and then resurrection will occur. It also compensates for what we know from our own experience with the unconscious, namely an overwhelming conscious feeling of impatience, where people wonder why they cannot progress quickly and whether they cannot do this and that, etc. Sometimes they must be told that it is necessary to stay in their depression and difficulties as long as they last. People ask how long it will take to be free of their symptoms and problems, and we can only say that it will be as long as their evolution lasts; in fact, no one knows for how long. It may be short or long because, as Dr. Jung says, one does not solve one’s conflicts, one outgrows them. And to get out of a problem is evolution, shorter or longer. The problem in our text cannot be solved, it can only be overcome through the inner transformation of the author. This is the meaning of the endless repetition of the same problem, which is associated with a number that signifies evolution. This person has entered a problem that he cannot solve intellectually, and that is fate.” (Ibid., p. 264)
This is what I see as the most difficult and discouraging part of our internal transformation processes—this endless repetition of the same problem that returns to us again and again, leaving us with the feeling that we are stuck in the same place. The despair that no matter how hard we try and put in effort, we do not change.
“How many times in analysis does a person emerge from a problem, feel calm and at peace with themselves, and think that the worst might be over—but after three weeks everything starts again, as if nothing has been done. Many repetitions are necessary before the experience is consolidated and fixed.” (Ibid., p. 250)
The Philosopher’s Stone: The Solid Core of the Personality
Therefore, knowing that this is normal for the processes of transformation helps. Comfort also comes from the understanding that even when we have a feeling of repetition, what repeats is only our core theme. Its concrete forms of manifestation, however, come to us each time with different nuances, bringing a greater density of understanding and a more lasting depth of awareness.
There are too many dark corners in our internal building to be illuminated. There is too much ego resistance to be broken. There are too many tricks of the mind to be revealed. There is so much more to be seen. Even if at times it seems that we are treading water, that we are doing the same foolish things and sometimes even moving backward, all of this has its hidden meaning. In the symbolic language of alchemy, it is the creation of the “Philosopher’s Stone”—the goal of the transformation processes.
“…the whole alchemical process, which aims at producing the philosopher’s stone, an object with a solid substance, something that does not flow away, and in alchemy is the highest symbol of the divine. It is strange that, viewed naively, the alchemical product is something in the order of nature, something we consider simple, a stone whose quality is present. The stone does not eat, does not drink, and does not sleep; it simply remains for eternity. If you kick it, it stays there and does not move. But in alchemy, this despised thing is a symbol of the goal. We must penetrate deep into the mystical language of the East, alchemy, and some Christian mystics to understand what this idea means.
If through battle and the encounter with the unconscious a person has suffered long enough, a kind of objective personality appears; a core is formed within the person that is at rest, even in the midst of the greatest storms of life—intensely alive, yet inactive and uninvolved in the conflict. Mental peace arrives for people who have suffered long: one day something happens, and a person acquires a calm expression because something has been born that remains in the center, outside and beyond the conflict, which no longer continues as before.
Naturally, two minutes later the conflict is renewed because it is not resolved, but the experience that something is beyond the conflict remains, and from then on the process is different. People no longer search; they know that the thing exists—they have experienced it for a moment. After that, the opus has a goal—to find this moment again and gradually manage to hold it, so that it becomes something permanent.” — Marie-Louise von Franz, Alchemy: An Introduction to the Symbolism and the Psychology, p. 187
In all the battles of life, this thing that is beyond the battle is always present, as Dr. Jung beautifully describes it in The Secret of the Golden Flower. It is like standing above the storm in the mountains. One sees the black clouds, the lightning, and the falling rain, but something within is above all that, and one can only contemplate it. On the one hand, you are also inside, but on the other, you are outside of it. On a more modest level, you can achieve it if, in a fit of despair or in the destructive attack of some conflict, you manage to keep your sense of humor for a single second—but only if you are not carried away for the thousandth time by some negative animus—and then suddenly you tell yourself that you have heard this before.
Perhaps you cannot free yourself from the destructive animus; it is still very strong. Но something in you smiles and says that it has already heard this stupid song; you would like to laugh at yourself, but pride does not allow it and you continue with the negative animus and it conquers you again. These are divine moments when something becomes clear and is beyond opposites and suffering. Usually, it happens for brief moments, but if you continue to work on yourself, the stone slowly grows and turns into the solid core of the personality, which no longer participates in the “monkey circus of life.” (Ibid., p. 187)
The View from Above
Step by step. Two forward, one back. We fall and we rise. We stand in one place for a long time and wonder what the wrong thing is that we are doing so that we cannot lift our feet. And the reason is simple—the rock our souls are climbing is steep. In the dimension of the Spirit, this may look like ten minutes, but on Earth, where time flows differently, these are long ten years in which we take only one step upward. However, when we know that this is the most important step and that in its walking is the most creative period of creating our new Self, we no longer worry about the speed of changes. We know that when we arrive, the time the climb took us will no longer matter.
And from the place where we have ascended, a magnificent view has opened up. Sometimes we see the “storm in the mountains” too, but in a different way—we contemplate its thunder, enjoying its majestic power and remembering the time when the cold rain soaked us to the bone.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
