“The more closely we analyze what we perceive as ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience when we encounter another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.”
— Alain de Botton
Usually, the last thing we associate with eroticism is the sharing of common values or a shared sense of life’s meaning. What we feel first is the packaging of desire for shared intimacy—the excitement of the body. Beneath this packaging, however, as Alain de Botton writes, lies something different and even unexpected: a feeling of attraction that has nothing to do with the needs of the body, even though it is experienced by the body in the form of arousal.
At times, we may experience bodily arousal and attraction toward people or in situations where such an experience feels profoundly inappropriate according to our own mind. If this happens to you, it is helpful to recall Alain de Botton’s words: at its roots, erotic arousal truly is attraction—but attraction to something that lies beyond the body. So—be at ease. There is nothing wrong. It is simply a sign that this magical and extraordinarily complex instrument called the human body has just registered that the desire for connectedness has come into motion, and there is nothing shameful in that.
Simply direct your attention inward and explore what those things “beyond the body” are that draw you.
Kameliya Hadziyska
