The theme of love triangles would not be complete without also examining so-called “protective triangles.” These are relationships in which a person panically avoids deep commitment to only one partner, because in the event of a separation they would not be able to endure the intensity of their feelings. As a rule, such a person maintains an additional, parallel partner alongside the primary one, thus ensuring that if one relationship ends, they will still be able to survive.
The motives for entering such triangular relationships are entirely defensive. The person is extremely emotionally vulnerable—deep down, they lack confidence in their own worth, and together with previous romantic disappointments, this has led them to adopt a protective life philosophy according to which lasting love does not exist, only transient romantic involvements.
Below, I share two quotations from Relationships and How to Survive Them by Liz Greene. As will become clear from them, the astrological significator for a predisposition to entering such triangular relationships from the position of the Betrayer is a strongly placed Pluto in the natal chart. Unlike the “insecurities that create love triangles—Saturn and Chiron,” the intensity of feelings here far exceeds the experience of insecurity. This is about emotional survival—about something that is literally a matter of life and death.
“Protective triangles arise from a strong sense of inadequacy or the feeling of not possessing anything lovable. If a person is unconscious, feelings of inadequacy can be extremely painful and may lead them to believe that they will inevitably lose the one they love to someone else. This can generate massive defenses against commitment. On the surface, there may be a never-forgotten sense of having been disappointed by others, while underneath lies the agonizing feeling that one oneself is a great disappointment. Triangles motivated by such unconscious feelings are a protective device against excessive inner vulnerability. When a person divides their love between two people, it ensures that neither of them has the power to completely destroy their life. Repeatedly falling in love with people who are already committed may also be an unconscious means of avoiding deep commitment.”
Liz Greene, Relationships and How to Survive Them (Kindle Locations 3198–3203)
“Protective and power triangles have more in common with the individual’s requirements for physical survival, which can give rise to certain compulsive patterns in which survival itself is threatened by emotional vulnerability. A tendency toward power triangles may be associated with a powerful Pluto emphasized in the natal chart. A Venus–Pluto contact alone may indicate such a predisposition, even without reference to parental significators. This does not mean that everyone with a strong Pluto will become involved in triangles. But when they do, the reasons should be quite obvious to anyone who understands Pluto’s nature. For the Plutonian individual, being out of control of one’s own life is equivalent to non-survival. If a person is threatened with abandonment or humiliation, they are no longer in control and may be destroyed. For the Plutonian type, everything is a matter of life or death. Life is not for enjoyment; it is for survival. One of the ways the Plutonian type may attempt to maintain control is by dividing their love in two. This gives them the assurance that they have not put all their eggs in one basket; therefore, not all will be broken if the relationship ends. The Plutonian type will often play the role of the betrayer, because this role in the power triangle gives the illusion of control.”
Liz Greene, Relationships and How to Survive Them (Kindle Locations 3426–3432)
- Note: The following quotations are translated from the Bulgarian article.
It is probably clear why the suffering caused by infidelity, betrayal, and rejection in love is charged with such immense transformative potential for spiritual growth—the only way to endure its intensity is through deep inner transformation. And since Pluto is not only the archetype of transformation but also the esoteric ruler of Pisces, which we associate with unconditional love, it becomes clear that the destruction concerns the material part of the Self, so that only what does not die may remain—unconditional love.
More concretely, this means that attachment to the other must be transformed into commitment to one’s own inner development and truth. Only such an attitude enables a person to survive Plutonian crises—by using the intensity of suffering to dismantle the part of themselves that loves through conditional love. Only those who have passed through the fire of calcination and have been reduced no longer fear their deep feelings of connection to others. Their emotional sensitivity ceases to be a source of vulnerability and instead becomes a source of strength—the strength of unconditional love.
As is often the case, crises in external life become an opportunity to discover what we seek not outside, but within ourselves. When we find it, the fear that we will not survive betrayal and separation from the beloved disappears.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
