The text below was written by Virginia Satir (a family psychotherapist) in response to a 15-year-old girl’s question, “How can I prepare for a fulfilling life?”
“I am me.
In the whole world there is no one exactly like me. There are people who share some parts of my body or some traits of my character, but no one is entirely like me. Therefore, everything I do is uniquely mine, because I alone choose it.
I own everything that belongs to me — my body and everything it does; my mind, including my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images they see; my feelings, whatever they may be — anger, joy, hurt, love, disappointment, enthusiasm; my mouth and all the words it speaks — polite, tender, and harsh; right and wrong; my voice — loud or quiet; and all my actions, whether directed toward others or toward myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, and my fears.
I own my triumphs and successes, my failures and my mistakes.
Because I own all that I am, I can come to know myself intimately. In this way, I can love myself and become a friend to every part of me. Then it becomes possible for everything in me to work in my own best interest.
I know that there are parts of me that puzzle me and other parts that I do not yet know. But as long as I am friendly with myself, I can courageously seek solutions to what confuses me and new ways to discover myself.
However I look and however my words sound; whatever I say and do; whatever I think and feel at a given moment — that is me. This is authentic, and it shows where I am at this moment in time.
When later I look back to evaluate how I looked or how my words sounded, what I said or did, and what I thought or felt, I may find that some parts of me did not act in a fitting way. I can discard what was unhelpful and create something new in its place, and I can keep what turned out to be appropriate. I see, hear, feel, think, speak, and act responsibly. I have the tools I need to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to bring reason and order into the world of people and into the things outside myself.
I own myself, and therefore I can manage my life.
I am me, and I am okay.”
— Virginia Satir
Healthy self-respect grows out of trust in one’s inner sense of what is right. This sense may differ from what other people tell us. In such moments, trust becomes even more important — along with the understanding that we humans are different, and that it is therefore natural to have different perceptions of life.
If this text from the “games of synchronicity” is reaching you now, the message is clear: it is time for self-respect.
It is the key to a fulfilled life.
Note: The quotations are translated from Bulgarian and are not presented as verbatim citations.
