A 28-Day Online Group for Building Habits of Emotional Awareness
A New Moon in Cancer is approaching.
According to astrologers, this is the time when natural cycles support new beginnings and the sowing of the seeds of desire. According to them as well, the energy of this New Moon is doubly strong because the Moon is in its own sign—Cancer. And although there is only one week left until then, I felt the impulse to begin precisely at that moment a project that has been maturing in my mind for more than a year. It has to do with building new mental habits.
The very idea of the importance of developing new mental habits—new attitudes through which we can respond differently to what happens in our lives—emerged from another topic that has also been occupying me lately: the simplification of life. For some reason, the English word sounds better to me—simplifying.
To be able to simplify one’s life is a great blessing. For me, this is the most direct path to releasing unnecessary stress—simply by developing the ability to direct our attention only toward what is essential. When we stop scattering ourselves across a hundred things and remain connected only to what truly matters, we naturally begin to relax and harmonize with the flow of life. This growing inner harmony, in turn, nourishes the health of the body, fills us with a sense of wholeness and inner well-being, and overflows into harmonious relationships with others.
In this way, the direction of the vicious circle in which we have been running like hamsters on a wheel—pressed by countless daily demands and tasks—gradually begins to change. The more calm and harmony enter our lives, the more connected we feel to ourselves and the more clearly we recognize what is essential. And the more connected we are to ourselves and to what is essential, the more relaxation and harmony flow into our lives.
Simplifying life by freeing ourselves from what is non-essential is grounded in the capacity for wisdom and prioritization. But there is one more thing that helps simplify life: turning something complex into a habit. For example, when learning a new language, we must think about every part of our speech. Everything seems terribly complex—the grammar, the new words, and their arrangement in sentences. But once we have mastered the language and what we have learned becomes habitual, we no longer need to think about how to say something—we simply say it. The same applies to any other skill composed of multiple elements, such as learning the steps of a dance or driving a car.
The ability to remain aware of the constantly changing emotional background of our everyday life is such a skill. It involves various components of emotional intelligence: the ability to register changes in how we feel in a timely manner; to notice their subtle nuances; to understand the desires that give rise to them; to contain our emotional reactions until we find an appropriate way to care for them; and to communicate them to others.
For me, emotional intelligence is the most—most—most—most important skill of a psychologically healthy person, because it is precisely the decisive factor behind physical health, an authentic way of living, fulfilling relationships, and success in life.
(More on this topic can be found in the article Intelligent Emotions.)
But that is not all. To be in contact with the energy of desire and the emotions arising from it means to hear the voice of one’s soul—because the soul is the energy of desire. This, however, is a long topic. It refers to another level of working with human emotions: the transformation of desire and our primal nature. It is precisely at this level that emotional intelligence becomes another form of intelligence—spiritual intelligence.
So my invitation now is to those of you who wish to develop the habit of emotional awareness. The way of working and the structure of the group process will be based on three elements.
The first is related to the time required to build a habit—according to psychologists, a minimum of 21 days. When an additional week is added—in which I will introduce the theory and the core elements to be practiced afterward—the total becomes 28 days. Twenty-eight days is the duration of a lunar month—the time the Moon needs to pass through all its phases before its next New Moon birth under another sign of the celestial mandala.
Twenty-eight days (four weeks) is also the duration of this group.
The second element concerns the format of the work itself—namely, an online group using the resources of a social network (a closed Facebook group).
I am a group therapist, and I love working in groups because it multiplies the benefits of psychological work with oneself. One learns not only from one’s own experience, but also from the experience of others. One learns not only from the feedback I give personally, but also from the feedback I give to other participants. One comes to realize that one is not alone on the difficult path toward a more authentic way of living—one that springs from the deeper layers of the soul. There is also the opportunity to belong to a community of people who share the same values. And online group work has the additional advantage that participants can choose for themselves when to engage in the group process—to read, write, and share at their own time.
This brings me to the third element, which was the most difficult for me to resolve. It concerns how to create the conditions for forming a habit around something as complex as emotional intelligence. I do not mean that the theory of emotional intelligence is complex in itself. The theory is not complicated at all. The complexity arises when one begins to apply it in practice—in concrete life situations. And it is precisely through practice that habits are formed.
I resolved this challenge by simplifying things. Everything will be centered around working with the image of the inner child, and my role will be to teach you how to become a loving parent to this most inner part of yourself—the one whose voice is so often ignored, unheard, criticized, or judged. I will do this by reading your daily accounts of the inner child’s experiences and its dialogue with the parent during the practice weeks, and by offering you feedback and guidance.
Therefore, if you decide to participate in this group, be prepared for a very engaged and intensive 28 days. Your commitment to the process of building this habit will be the decisive factor in whether you succeed in laying a solid foundation that can bring lasting benefit to you.
We begin next Saturday, July 11.
The number of participants is limited.
You are welcome.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
