Here is an idea from Eckhart Tolle on how to consciously practice the sadhana of disappointment, which I find deeply inspiring.
“A powerful spiritual practice is to consciously allow the diminishment of the ego when it happens and to not try to restore it. I recommend that you experiment with this from time to time.
For example, when someone criticizes you, blames you, or shouts insulting words at you, instead of retaliating or beginning to defend yourself, do nothing. Allow the self-image you have constructed to remain diminished, and become aware of how this feels deep within you. You may feel bad for a few seconds, as if you have shrunk. But then you will probably sense an inner spaciousness, and this will make you feel intensely alive. In truth, you have not diminished at all. You have expanded.
In that moment, you may arrive at a surprising realization: when you have seemingly been diminished in one way or another and yet remain in a state of complete non-reaction—not only outwardly but inwardly as well—you realize that nothing that truly exists has been diminished, that by becoming ‘less’ you have become ‘more.’ Once you no longer defend or attempt to strengthen your form, you have gone beyond identification with form, with the mental image of ‘yourself.’ By becoming less (from the ego’s point of view), you have in fact expanded and created space for Being to manifest. The true power that you are beyond forms can, in such moments, shine through the apparently weakened form. This is what Jesus meant when he said: ‘Deny yourself’ or ‘Turn the other cheek.’
This, of course, does not mean that you allow people to abuse you or that you willingly accept being a victim of unconscious people. Sometimes a situation requires that you tell someone to ‘go away,’ clearly and unequivocally. Without ego-defense, there will be power in your words, but not reactive force. If necessary, you can also say ‘no’ firmly and clearly, and this will be a ‘high-quality no,’ as I call it, free of any negativity.”
Life makes sure that we do not take ourselves too seriously and periodically sends us events through which we experience disappointment. If, at such a moment, we remember the idea above and apply it, we turn that experience into a spiritual practice—into true alchemy.
Kameliya
