From the book by M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
“Whenever we take a step to extend our boundaries, we do so by either overcoming the inertia of laziness or confronting the fear of resistance. The first we call work; the second we call courage. Love, then, is always either work or courage directed toward the purpose of nurturing our own or another’s spiritual growth.”
“The form that the work of love most commonly takes is attention. A very important way in which we exercise our attention is through listening and giving time to truly be with the other.”
“The other ingredient, courage, consists of taking risks:
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The risk of loss: A full life is saturated with pain… The more we live with love, the more risks we take.
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The risk of growing up: True security in life comes when we pass through the unknown. Higher forms of love are subject to free choice, not slavish compliance.
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The risk of commitment: Commitment is the foundation of a true loving relationship—deep commitment does not guarantee the success of the relationship, but it helps more than any other factor in ensuring it.
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The risk of confrontation: This is exercising power through humility. It is a confrontation based not on instinctive certainty that you are right, but on the faith that you have reached the right view through conscious self-study and questioning. The first way is of arrogance; the second, of humility.” — M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
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If this is the answer you received from “The Lessons of Love,” you can look within the text above to see which of the ingredients of love you should put to the test right now. Is it a lack of attention and setting aside time for communication—that part of love related to the effort of listening carefully and without prejudice to the other? Or is it courage in its various forms and the taking of risks?
Whatever answer you receive from this inquiry, one thing is certain—if you have been sincere enough and have set aside time to reflect on the questions above, you are already in the energy of love. For it is precisely the giving of attention, the effort to understand things about yourself in greater depth, and to expand from that, which constitutes the love Dr. Peck speaks of.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
