The path of spiritual transformation is difficult. Perhaps that is why it is valuable. Easy things rarely hold much worth. And to make its value even greater, it is not only difficult but also long. A difficult, long road.
Yet, we walk it anyway. Perhaps because it is the only possible way—forward.
Then comes the fatigue.
We walk mile after mile, and the end is nowhere in sight. Often, there are not even signposts—no indications of how much further we must go or which direction to take at a crossroads. Shoes wear out, clothes fade in the sun, yet the pilgrim within us keeps walking.
Regarding this aspect of the spiritual transformation process, Roberto Assagioli, the founder of Psychosynthesis, wrote:
“Unlike the caterpillar, man is deprived of the safety and silence in which the butterfly spends its metamorphosis. He must, especially in our day, remain in his place and, according to his strength, fulfill his duty toward family and society, perform his professional obligations as if nothing special were happening in his inner world. This is a very heavy task. It can be compared to the problem faced by English engineers who were obliged to reconstruct a London railway station building without interrupting the movement of trains for even an hour.
It is understandable that such a complex task sometimes causes nervous and psychological disorders such as exhaustion, insomnia, depression, and irritability, which in turn—due to the close interaction between spirit and body—can lead to various physical symptoms.” — Roberto Assagioli
I decided to share this knowledge because I know what it looks like when—despite my immense desire to be accepting—I react with irritation toward the people I love. Before I read these words, the voice of self-blame would join the list of things draining my energy, making everything even worse.
If you recognize this state in yourself, I believe Assagioli’s words will bring you comfort too. This irritability is not a sign of bad character, but of exhausted psychic energy. It is vital in such moments to have mercy toward ourselves, knowing that we are doing the best we can.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
Note: The quotations are translated from Bulgarian and are not presented as verbatim citations.
