“Our Ego wants to see God as a benevolent parent, strong enough to care for us so that no matter how old we are, we are never without a cosmic Caretaker. This is an important part of religion and spirituality; faith helps our inner child feel safe enough to grow. However, when we are in a childish position toward the world, the sacred is often viewed merely as a means to satisfy our human needs… The childish Ego state wants to know that God will protect us from the many dangers we see around us, and on terms set by us. Emphasizing safety always leads to denial, which over time leads to psychological rigidity, numbness…
Entering the mysteries almost always requires confronting fear and acknowledging that the ultimate reality of the universe is not pleasant, neat, or subject to human control.”
— Carol Pearson, “Awakening the Heroes Within”
I decided to share this part of the description of the Destroyer archetype because I find it profoundly valuable. It accurately describes my own experience.
The first time the Destroyer entered my life was with the death of my mother. Later, it came through endogenous depression, powerlessness, meaninglessness, and apathy… experiences from the distinct realms of helplessness—the kingdom of Ereshkigal. The last time it arrived, it destroyed even my childish faith in God.
It seems things happen one by one: first, we are given the pain; then, we are given the anesthetic so we can endure it; and finally, even the anesthetic is taken away. Only then do we begin to see more clearly. We realize that “the ultimate reality of the universe is not pleasant, neat, or subject to human control.”
This is how we enter the mysteries of life.
I guess that entering the mysteries occurs in such a sequence only when the strength to endure this reality has already developed within us. In my experience that strength is called Love.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
Note: The quotations are translated from Bulgarian and are not presented as verbatim citations.
