According to David Gordon, a Jungian analyst and author of the book Mindful Dreaming, in order to interpret dreams we need to know the map of our inner journey. These are the different challenges of awareness that arise at different stages of our inner journey—the so-called Calling, Journey, Enlightenment, and Return. What we become aware of are the different values or strategies for gratification of the Self: the first five pertain to the values of the Ego, while the second five pertain to the values of the Soul. When we are clear about the difference in the strategies for attaining satisfaction from the perspective of these two aspects of our Self—the earthly part and the immortal part—we gain invaluable bearings for moving through the processes of transformation involved in shifting from ego-dominated thinking/values to soul-dominated consciousness/values.
The first five steps, or strategies for attaining gratification on the level of the ego, are in essence different kinds of defense mechanisms that protect us from change and from becoming aware of the painful aspects of life. They are:
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various forms of escape from reality;
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the desire for control;
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judgment;
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attachment;
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impatience.
More concretely, this means:
“…in our fear that we will never find the source of love and security we long for, we allow ourselves to indulge in a thousand escapes from reality, such as meaningless entertainment or immersion in work; we restlessly seek and ceaselessly want ‘something’ that will make us happy.
In our fear that we will never achieve what we want, we make plans to establish control and to obtain what is desired.
In our fear that we will never be desired by others, we begin to judge ourselves as unworthy and to condemn others as bad because they have failed to appreciate us as we deserve.
In our attachment to everything impermanent and changeable, we surrender to constant insecurity, living in continual fear of losing it, fully convinced that ‘we are what we possess’ and identify with.
And in the shifting sands of our hollow and sugar-coated culture, we are in no way able to free ourselves from the fear that we will never find what we desire—or become what we want to be—soon enough, and so we continue to trudge through the swamp of impatience, awaiting the next acquisition that will fill the gnawing emptiness in our lives.”¹
— David Gordon, Mindful Dreaming
As can be seen, these five steps of awareness concern recognizing different ways of coping with different forms of fear. Yet since they are, at bottom, strategies of avoidance, such “coping” with fear has only a transient effect; afterward, the return to what we are fleeing from becomes even more painful and frightening. The only way to address the source of suffering and fear in the long term is through awareness—to notice when and how we resort to these defensive mechanisms to protect ourselves from pain. Only when we can see very clearly the ego’s pattern for achieving temporary gratification will we be able to release it and move on to the lessons of the soul.
These are the second five lessons of awareness, which are symmetrical to the first five, because they express the same dynamics in their positive form. To work with them, we must first let go of their old forms—that is, sacrifice the ego’s strategies. The word “sacrifice” has a Latin etymology and means “to make sacred,” and in this sense, releasing the first five ego strategies is an act of sacrifice. This creates space for the next five steps toward awareness, which pertain to the second part of our journey and to reconnecting with the deeper roots of our soulful essence.
“By fully recognizing our tendency to seek ways of escaping reality, we learn to joyfully embrace solitude.
By fully recognizing our tendency to exercise control over people and events, we open our hearts to humility and prepare to receive guidance from the Source.
With full awareness of our destructive urge to judge those around us, we embrace compassion for our own suffering—not only toward others, but toward ourselves as well.
Seeing through the illusion of impermanence, we succeed in releasing our attachments and worn-out identities and surrender to the grief over the limitations and losses that life imposes on us.
And finally, by more clearly recognizing our tendency toward impatience, we gain the advantage of learning to wait and to open ourselves to the new, expanded consciousness that arises from our unbiased embrace of the present moment.”²
— David Gordon, Mindful Dreaming
As can be seen from the text above, the transition from the first five steps to the second five occurs through “becoming aware.” The key to change is called “awareness,” and it is at once very simple and very difficult to practice, because it requires an “extraordinary attentiveness.” I know more than one person who has shared that they are aware of the patterns that limit them, yet nevertheless cannot free themselves from them. The reason is that knowing something is not the same as being aware of it. The two differ not only in the depth of understanding of the hidden processes that sustain a pattern; they also differ in that awareness always happens in the present and includes lived experience.
It is precisely the conscious presence with the experience at the moment the negative pattern arises that makes change and release possible.
I believe that knowing the “psychic map” of the processes we pass through is a very valuable orientation and support for those among us who have felt the soul’s call toward a more authentic way of living and toward finding meaning through relationship with the Greater Whole from which we come and to which we return. Knowing that if we release control, humility will come; or that if we release impatience, the joy of the present will come, helps us more easily make the sacrifice of ego-desires. And this also leads to a reduction of fear, because we know that from this sacrifice something far more beautiful will be born.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
Note: The quotations are translated from Bulgarian and are not presented as verbatim citations.
