One of the great paradoxes is that even while we seem to be doing all the “wrong” things and moving in the “wrong” direction, we are in fact getting closer to the very solution we seek.
The most striking example of this is the teaching of accepting things exactly as they are. I agree that the integration of life’s dark side and becoming whole happen precisely through acceptance. I am reminded of two spiritual teachers who also speak of non-resistance to what is: Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie. Yet the issue is that neither of them reached enlightenment by practicing what they now teach, but rather by doing the exact opposite.
Both achieved enlightenment in a moment of utter despair, and the ultimate resistance one can experience. Only afterward did they begin to teach the practice of non-resistance. Tolle speaks of “presence with the pain-body,” and Katie of “loving what is.” And yet this is the very opposite of what brought them to enlightenment and acceptance.
Such reflections can lead to confusion, but this is beneficial for the ego-mind, which is accustomed to believing that if we simply do the right thing, we will achieve what we desire. That mindset holds true for some aspects of life, but not for others. When it comes to inner spiritual transformation, the turning point (and the acceptance that ensues) comes only after we have resisted for a very long time. When it comes to the human psyche, paradoxes are often its truest language.
One such paradox is that sometimes moving away is the very thing that gets us closer. We can find countless examples of this “getting closer by moving away”. These are all the crises, illnesses, mistakes, and other “wrong things” we experienced without which we would have never pondered what truly matters, nor find the impulse to transform our lives.
Recognizing life’s paradoxical nature strips the mind of its false certainties. It leaves us feeling confused, unknowing. And from that confusion and unknowing, humility and acceptance arise. And this is yet another example of how the wrong thing can lead to the right result. How moving away gets us closer.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
