Every profound life crisis is an opportunity for a significant spiritual breakthrough.
The deeper our inner Hero descends into the underworlds of hell, the greater the “height” from which this ordeal has been sent. The various forms of addiction—alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, sex, relationships…—are, at their core, different forms of spiritual crisis. A hole has opened in the human soul, and out of ignorance or because of the resistance of the ego-mind, the person tries to fill it with things that cannot fill it. The problem is that the “hunger” tormenting them is not for things of this world. It is the so-called “thirst for wholeness,” which Christina Grof writes about in her book of the same name.
The power of Grof’s words—a transpersonal psychotherapist and an extraordinary individual—comes not only from her rich professional experience. It comes above all from her personal experiences as a person who has herself passed through the suffering of alcohol addiction and managed to overcome it. This is why her message is clear and simple:
the process of falling toward the bottom can change direction and turn into the beginning of liberation, if the challenge contained within it is recognized—a capitulation of the ego—and if it is treated as a spiritual crisis.
Below is an excerpt from her book that may be helpful to anyone going through a spiritual crisis. These are not only people suffering from various forms of addictive behavior, but also those who are trying to help them. Because the challenge facing both sides is the same—acknowledging one’s own powerlessness and the capitulation of the personal ego-will. When a person succeeds in making this capitulation in the right way—the subject of this article—miracles happen.
Christina Grof
Excerpt from her book “The Thirst for Wholeness”, chapter “Wandering in the Wilderness”
Translation:
It is well known that addictive behavior can ultimately result in physical death. Every day, newspapers publish tragic facts, television reports on people struggling with alcohol and drugs, and on the suffering these cause. Such individuals move inexorably along a self-destructive trajectory toward complete self-annihilation on all levels. By externalizing their inner experience of destruction, they may also cause serious harm to those close to them.
Thanks to a shift in perspective, we are now able to see within this alarming and widespread phenomenon a light of hope.
In the final paragraph of the previous chapter, I described how, in the dark night of addiction, we slide toward our own demise, accompanied by the loss of health, family, work, possessions, and self-respect. In this state of spiritual bankruptcy, we often feel that we are dying. Our experience seems entirely real, as though we were truly confronting biological death. People who abuse alcohol, when describing their drunkenness, speak of themselves by saying: “I am a rag,” “I am nobody,” “I am completely broken.” These same words reflect the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual destruction to which behavior driven by various addictions leads. If we do not know that there is a safe way out of this terrifying experience of one’s own annihilation, we can easily make a tragic mistake—attempting suicide. In some cases, the pain we experience in the course of our growth is so great that we project it onto others, committing acts of violence or even deliberate murder.
The good news is that the process within the deadly grip of addiction, if approached as a personal inner experience, can come to a safe conclusion and have a positive outcome. If people imprisoned by addiction begin to look inward, dying to their old “Self,” they become repelled by the danger of physical death. The dissolution of the unhealthy ego is the decisive step toward deep transformation, toward normal health and greater wholeness.
Instead of externalizing this essential death—into physical destruction—a person can experience it in inner captivity, without causing further harm to the body.
We can introduce alcoholics and drug addicts who are prone to suicide to the notion of the killing of the ego, or the death of the ego. One of the reasons for the success of spiritually based addiction recovery programs lies in the fact that they unequivocally acknowledge the transformative power of surrender: they are able to offer those undergoing the death of the ego the support and guidance they need.
Why must we pass through an experience of surrender? Why must we give up our own ideas? From one perspective, there truly is something to lose. But from another, by freeing ourselves from our limitations, we may gain everything.
Addiction is a critical condition of the spirit, a spiritual crisis that contains within itself the seeds of transformation.
Spiritual crises can reach us through many different pathways, and one of them is addiction. When my husband and I coined the term “spiritual emergency,” we created a play on words: we meant both a “critical situation” or “emergency” that can accompany periods of great change, and an “emergence”—a coming forth or surfacing—hinting at the immense potential such experiences hold for personal growth and understanding.
The process of hitting bottom and the beginning of liberation from addiction is a form of spiritual crisis that contains many of the same elements found in other psycho-spiritual crises.
In all these forms of spiritual crisis, a fundamental factor is that the critical situation of experiencing the death of the ego contains within itself the key to healing and transformation. While under the power of addiction, we were attached to the bottle, to other people, to food, to cigarettes, or to drugs. By fully yielding to our powerlessness, we have entrusted ourselves to the care of our “deep Self.” Through surrender, we have moved from hopelessness to hope. We have made a shift from self-destruction to the prospect of creativity, from depression to inspiration. From the very bottom, we begin to move toward the possibilities of a happy and fulfilling life.
In some people, dramatic spiritual awakenings occur at moments of defeat or spiritual collapse. Sitting on the kitchen floor, walking in a prison cell, or hearing for the first time the concerns of relatives or friends, relinquishing control, such individuals often call upon some unknown force to come to their aid. Without warning, an experience may visit them that sounds like the vivid accounts of biblical mystics. Some experience a vision of light or a benevolent being. Others may hear a voice offering comfort, protection, and guidance, while still others clearly sense the presence of a powerful and loving force that protects them. Such striking spiritual episodes can happen to anyone, even to people who had previously considered themselves atheists or agnostics. When these individuals recount their stories, they regard this crucial event as something that led them out of the hell of addiction and showed them the path toward healing.
Christina Grof, excerpt from “The Thirst for Wholeness”, chapter “Wandering in the Wilderness”
