One interpretation of synchronicistic events is that they arrive in order to draw our attention to that with which they are connected. Their language is based on the law of correspondences, and if two or more events bearing the same sign occur at the same time, this is regarded as a confirmation of that sign’s significance. This was precisely what came to my mind on the very day I was finishing the article What Fuels the Fire, when I received an email from a colleague asking me whether I was familiar with Scott Kiloby, the creator of the Living Inquiries method. Knowing about my interest in the processes of spontaneous kundalini awakening, she had decided to send me an article on this topic by the same author. There was no way not to notice the synchronicity. The article I was finishing was about Scott Kiloby and his method of work, and the article she was sending me was also written by Scott Kiloby.
I am now passing this article on, because it is very valuable—it offers insight into the way the chakras awaken in the human body, and can bring reassurance to people who are going through similar experiences. It is titled “When the Body Awakens”, and it adds a new nuance to the understanding of the spiritual awakening process by distinguishing between “the awakening of the head” and “the awakening of the body.”
“When I first began the process of awakening, of investigating reality to see whether separation is in fact real or just a belief, I had no idea where that would lead.
I thought it was just about the mind, that machine between the ears. The idea was “wake up out of the belief in my thoughts and live in the now.” Seemed cut and dry to me back then. I had no idea what was in store with regard to my body and the rich but unconscious stories and memories it had stored through the years.
I had those monumental shifts that people often talk about. And I thought I was done. These were, for the most part, head awakenings where beliefs were seen through and stories were dissolved. For a few years after those shifts, I felt a clear transparency where my once really-busy mind had been. And this, again, made me feel like I was done. I hear people all the time proclaiming in one way or another that they are awake simply because they have had a head awakening. I listen patiently, knowing that the other shoe is likely to drop, meaning that everything that was stored in the body will resurface and have its day, until it too is investigated.
You see after the head awakening, which is that awakening into the present moment where one begins to feel as if there is no self, the body awakening is only beginning. In my experience, the body has its own memories, its own shapes, colors, stories, contractions. The last few years have been a process of gradual unfolding in the body, openings one after the other. And the road was not always easy. In fact, at times it has been quite painful.
My chest area opened early on, right after the initial awakening experience. What do I mean by heart opening? Nothing really mystical. It’s just that my chest felt clear and open, warm and loving. For eight years now, I have not felt any emotion (negative or positive) in the chest area. Just a warm, clear, transparent peace there. It’s quite simple really. The heart area is open. Nothing much more to say about that.
But the pelvic area, stomach and throat didn’t clear that easily. It took time. In my pelvic area, I began to be acutely aware of the contraction there after the head awakening. This area was dense, contracted and tight. Sexual addiction was rampant during this time. I wasn’t always acting out on it, but the addictive thoughts were there. And they seemed tied to that pelvic contraction. It’s almost as if that area of the body was screaming madly for pleasure, for release. And nothing would satisfy it for long – no sex act, no pornography. I would indulge in these things and find a temporary release of that dense energy that would last just a few days. The contraction would return and the sex addiction would come with it.
With the Living Inquiries, I finally had a tool to investigate this contraction very deeply. It was often a painful and frustrating investigation. Resting, looking and feeling into that area. Seeing pictures, words come and go, all of which seemed to be connected to that area. The pelvic area seemed as if it had its own mind, its own movie, its own set of meanings. As the meanings were distilled out of the contraction, it began to release. Warmth and space was all that was left.
And when the pelvic area opened, the vast difference between the now-open chest and now-open pelvic made the stomach and throat contraction even more obvious. The stomach and throat were the holdouts. The stomach held all the power-seeking, the intense wanting. The throat area seemed stuck, unable to express itself freely. And these areas carried their own little addictions, pain, sadness, and tightness. These were deeply embedded contractions that were resistance to almost every spiritual investigation, except the inquiries. The inquiries were the only tool that helped me open the stomach and throat. But again, this wasn’t a walk in the park. Months and months of infinite patience, of resting and feeling into those areas gently. Months of mining out the words and pictures that were embedded into the sensations in those areas.
And finally, through this gentle and thorough investigation, those areas began to open. I saw that what I had called a body through the years was actually a combination of words, pictures and energies that appeared on a screen right in front of me. For years, I thought that this play of words, pictures and energies was a body, a physical unit of sorts. Upon investigation, it all began to dissolve, slowly.
I don’t want to paint the picture of this unfolding as something that seems excruciatingly tiring or not worth the investigation. It’s been more than worth it to investigate these areas of the body. Rich, in fact. Very, very rich. Loving, compassionate and a lot of other adjectives I won’t bother adding into this post.
I had no idea in the beginning that awakening is not just about the mind. It is as much, or maybe more, about the body and the stories that are deeply engrained in it.
The body awakening has been the most eye-opening and rewarding part of this process of unfolding. I know now that one of the biggest traps is to proclaim that one is done. Yes, the seeking can end. Yes, one can have those shifts into what feels like non-dual space or oneness. But the unfolding continues to happen, with or without our consent. And it is largely an unfolding within the deepest caverns of our physical bodies…”
Scott Kiloby, When the Body Awakens
P.S. For those who are hearing about Scott Kiloby for the first time, it is probably helpful to mention that he underwent a mystical experience of unity with everything and of seeing beyond the appearances of the material world after having lived for a full twenty years in suffering and addiction (dependency). In the article TARGETING COMPULSION: A Tree that Only Grows in the Dark, he is presented as follows:
“After twenty years of struggling with addiction, Scott Kiloby began to see differently. Instead of running from negative feelings and thoughts from the past and seeking relief from them in the future, he decided to look directly at his suffering. He began allowing all negative and positive energies—thoughts, emotions, and sensations—to be exactly as they are. He started to relax into them and, within presence, to recognize the stable ground in which these energies arise and pass away. Through investigating the nature of the belief in separation and how it arises, and by making presence the central focus of his life, Scott discovered that the key to freedom from the cycle of compulsion and addiction lies in the one place that addicted individuals avoid looking—the present moment.”
Scott Kiloby – Paradoxica: Journal of Nondual Psychology, Vol. 5: Spring 2013
