“Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a ‘standing in,’ not a ‘falling for.’ In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving, not receiving.
The most widespread misunderstanding is that which assumes that giving is ‘giving up’ something, being deprived of, sacrificing. The person whose character has not developed beyond the stage of the receptive, exploitative, or hoarding orientation, experiences the act of giving in this way. The marketing character is willing to give, but only in exchange for receiving; giving without receiving for him is being cheated. People whose orientation is a non-productive one feel giving as an impoverishment. Most individuals of this type therefore refuse to give.
For the productive character, giving has an entirely different meaning. Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.”
— Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
If this is the answer you receive from the ‘Lessons of Love,’it is time for giving. You will know you are practicing it correctly if you feel a surge of strength and abundance in your life.
