by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, The Second Agreement:
“Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.
Humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees, and we support each other in maintaining these addictions. Humans agree to help each other suffer. If you have the need to be abused, you will find it easy to be abused by others. Likewise, if you are with people who have the need to suffer, something in you makes you abuse them. It is as if they have a note on their back that says, ‘Please kick me.’ They are looking for justification for their suffering. Their addiction to suffering is nothing but an agreement that is reinforced every day.
… If you make it a habit not to take anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, ‘I love you,’ without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need. You can say yes, or you can say no — whatever you choose — without guilt or self-judgment. You can choose to follow your heart always. Then you can be in the middle of hell and still feel inner peace and happiness. You can stay in that state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all.”
