Understanding the energetic nature of our emotional life
This article was originally published on my other website, on the “Introduction” page of the 29-Day Program. Due to a reorganization in how the content is presented, I am now republishing it here. In it, you will read about the most essential insight that inspired me to create this Program – the realization of how an abstract concept such as energy can find a psychological analogue on the level of the human psyche in the form of desire/libido.
The main idea is that if desire is the way psychic energy manifests (Jung), then emotions are simply the different forms through which we experience the numerous fluctuations and movements of that same energy.
So.
I want to take you to the very source of understanding human emotions – it is called desire. If you understand the nature of desire, you’ve understood the most important thing about the origin of emotions and how to manage them. Then every time the surface of your emotional life is stirred, you will know that this is the form your desire is taking at that moment.
That is why, if you want to bring intelligence into the management of your emotions, never forget this word – desire.
Desire is not only the deep foundation of your emotional life, it is the foundation of life itself. In its essence, it is pure energy born from the tension between opposites – between what is and what we want to be.
“I am here, but I want to be there. I am this way, but I want to be different. I don’t have this, but I want to have it. I am experiencing this, but I don’t want to. I am not experiencing this, but I want to. I don’t know this, but I want to learn…”
If you want to understand the foundation of life and the source of emotions – look for desire. Because life is movement, whose energetic engine is desire, and emotions are simply the different forms it takes. When we are at peace, it means that at that moment, desire is at peace. The moment we begin to feel tension, it means desire has been activated. When our desire is fulfilled, we experience emotions from the pleasant side of the spectrum. When our desire is unfulfilled, or an obstacle stands in the way of its realization, we experience emotions from the painful side of the spectrum.
And desires come in many forms – from our most basic material needs to the longing for adventure, knowledge, and communication, from the yearning for love and connection to the thirst for spiritual awakening and enlightenment. But at the root of all desires stands a single one – the desire not to suffer and to be happy.
In spiritual traditions, it is said that when the desire for self-knowledge awakens in a person and the question arises, “Who am I beyond the roles and identifications with transient things in the material world?”, the time has come for the awakening of the soul’s immortal part. It is time for the spark to know the Fire from which it came. Then, the longing for spiritual growth and self-discovery becomes the strongest desire of the person, and emotional intelligence becomes spiritual intelligence.
At this level, the psychological work with desire takes a different name – transformation. Much is said about the processes of spiritual transformation, but what I have come to understand is that at their core lies the transformation of our desiring nature.
It is precisely the proximity to the Source that causes emotions to become even stronger and more devastating. The same goes for emotional pain. That is why a fundamental trait of a spiritually intelligent person is their ability to withstand great amounts of suffering without being broken, without compromising their value system or decision-making.
Ironically, this is how love is born on Earth – the only force capable of uniting opposites and transcending the conflict between the desires of our earthly ego and the desires of the soul. Another way to say the same thing is that life strives for wholeness, and love is the means by which it is achieved.
Our earthly self wants to experience only the positive part of the emotional spectrum – and that is entirely natural. However, the truth of life in a human body includes the unpleasant part of that spectrum too – pain, loss, limitation, aging, and death. Sooner or later, we encounter this truth and, if we want to be mentally healthy – that is, whole – we must overcome the ego’s resistance to suffering. Remember Christ on the cross, and you will understand why Jung saw in him the symbol of the unification of opposites within the human being.
This new understanding of the unification of opposites within us is called wisdom. It is the form in which emotional intelligence manifests in the spiritually awakened individual. When we become wise, we understand that love is the ability to act rightly even when we are experiencing the most negative emotions and are going through profound spiritual crises. That love is desire – but a very particular kind of desire: the desire to act in harmony with one’s moral values, with responsibility and care for the Whole.
As such, it has nothing to do with emotions, because it is action guided by qualities of the heart such as courage, truth, and trust in the wisdom of the Whole. Here are also faith in oneself, patience, and endurance in the face of trials and hardships. These qualities are fundamental characteristics of both emotionally intelligent people and those with high spiritual intelligence. The reason is that both relate to the qualities of the heart – to the ability to face difficult emotions without compromising our humanity or our relationships with others.
So, the source of life is desire. It is the energy that moves us, drives us to grow, develop, and change, to overcome fear and step into new territories. Desire is the true source of our emotional life, so if we want to bring awareness to our emotions, we must begin with becoming conscious of what gives rise to them – our desiring nature. And to be conscious means to divide ourselves into two parts. One part of us experiences the energy of desire-emotion, and the other part observes, registers, understands, and chooses.
The 29-Day Program teaches you this kind of awareness.
Kameliya Hadzhiyska
