from Mark Serra’s book “The Culture of Respect”
The Three Men
The first man is powerful,
but emotionally immature and
therefore – often destructive.
Macho, the man of men.
The second man is sensitive
and good-natured.
Guilt and shame make him weak.
Indecisive, subject to Woman.
The third man is uncompromisingly faithful
to himself.
To his own truth, to his own life.
To his own death.
He is powerful, but sensitive enough to hear the Woman
and listen to her.
That is why the Woman allows this man to lead her.
The three women
The first is kind and gentle, but afraid.
Fear disempowers her, makes her
to compare herself to her sisters.
To enter into dealings with the destructive power of Macho.
The second woman is always right. And her reactions are not late.
She feels free and strong.
She is in solidarity with her sisters,
refuses to conspire.
She condemns Macho and despises Indecisive.
She is angry.
The third woman knows her power.
The power of the infinitely vulnerable heart.
Her strength does not resemble a man’s.
Her strength is that of the inner center,
subordinate to the wisdom of the body.
The third woman welcomed
the penetration of the third man,
he is there to give,
not to take away.
His penetration is not a necessity,
but presence and desire.
The third woman is happy
by the physical and spiritual merging with the Third.
Because he is not using her.
He is in awe of her.
Mark Josephs-Serra, THE CULTURE OF HONOURING*
Male and female are not just gender roles. They are one of the basic polarities, which are also referred to in the seventh principle of Hermeticism: “Gender is in everything; everything has its masculine and feminine principles; gender manifests on all planes.” At the level of the human psyche, gender manifests as a pair of opposing qualities that are simultaneously present in the same individual. For men it is the inner woman, the anima, and for women the inner man, the animus. However, how to make their integration happen sometimes leads to great confusion.
I have seen women who go to seminars to develop their femininity, but their problem is not that they are “not women enough,” but the opposite, that they are “not men enough,” that is, they have not developed the psychological role associated with masculinity, namely, being strong and independent. For the Road to the Third Woman is passes through the Second Woman. And the Road to the Third Man passes through the Second Man. In my experience and observation, this confusion about masculine and feminine disappears when, instead of setting out to become more masculine or more feminine, we simply ask to be more true to ourselves and our nature. If you are a woman and you are more and more true to your own nature, sooner or later you will come to the Third Woman. Conversely, if you are a man and you develop the ability to be more and more true to your own nature, it will inevitably lead you to the Third Man. Because being true to your own nature means being true to both parts of yourself, your inner man and your inner woman. Finally from their combination the Third is born.
This beautiful poem says in a poetic way something we already know – the fulfilling relationships we long for happen only after we ourselves have become complete individuals. And complete means whole, free, true to ourselves and our nature. The Third Woman and the Third Man are the Whole Woman and the Whole Man.
Kameliya Hadziyska
*Note: This quote is a re-translation from Bulgarian.
