{"id":151926,"date":"2023-02-27T10:34:33","date_gmt":"2023-02-27T08:34:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/espirited.com\/a-matter-of-personal-interest\/"},"modified":"2026-01-24T14:52:52","modified_gmt":"2026-01-24T12:52:52","slug":"a-matter-of-personal-interest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/espirited.com\/en\/a-matter-of-personal-interest\/","title":{"rendered":"A matter of personal interest"},"content":{"rendered":"

“One farmer, who always won the prize for the best corn at the local show, was in the habit of sharing the seed with all the farmers in the area. When asked why, he replied, ‘It’s really for self-interest. The wind carries the pollen from field to field. So if my neighbours grow lower quality corn, the cross-pollination will reduce the quality of my own corn too. So I am concerned that they always plant the best.” <\/em><\/p>\n

Source: 101 Zen stories<\/p>\n

I know of no better story to illustrate what the idea of “Interdependence<\/em>“. As well as the oxymoron “positive ego<\/em>” :). So I use it to explain. For some people the word “positive ego<\/em>” is an oxymoron because it sounds like “altruistic egoism<\/em>“. But it is the paradoxicality of this combination that expresses that it unites opposites in a non-conflicting way. How? By being aware that whatever we do, we do it for ourselves<\/a>, even if at first glance it seems the opposite. Thoughts of how good and generous we are as a source of deriving intrinsic value inevitably lead to the manifestation of a negative ego. So when, for one reason or another, we feel victimized by people or circumstances that do not reciprocate our “selfless generosity<\/em>” and “sincere benevolence<\/em>,” the truth about our own altruism shines through. In this case, the negativity of our ego is rooted in our lack of sufficient self-knowledge, in our naivet\u00e9. But once we get to know the shadow face of the human psyche as well, we can enter into our generosity and sharing of our gifts with the attitude of “I’m doing it for me<\/em>” right from the start. Then there is no danger of self-deception. We are already prepared to deal with one of the subtlest masks that the negative ego wears – the illusion of selflessness.<\/em> So, the first of the steps to building a healthy sense of self is by being aware of our motivations – always doing things for our self-interest, for our corn. The second is seeing the Big Picture and seeing how our corn actually benefits from sharing our best accomplishments with others. This will help us with rational arguments to fight the irrational belief that such an act will disadvantage us. In order to consider both sides of the coin, it is also important to consider the conditions when it is okay not to give what we have. And instead to keep it for ourselves. In the world of duality, there is definitely room for such action. But if this story gets to you now, check it out to see if it’s to prompt you to exercise your altruistic egoism.<\/p>\n

Kamelia Hadjiyska<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“One farmer, who always won the prize for the best corn at the local show, was in the habit of sharing the seed with all the farmers in the area. When asked why, he replied, ‘It’s really for self-interest. The wind carries the pollen from field to field. So if my neighbours grow lower quality […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":150066,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[648],"tags":[652,655,649],"class_list":["post-151926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional-intelligence","tag-healing-stories","tag-the-lessons-of-love","tag-relationships"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t