In Gestalt therapy there is a well-known text, often referred to as a \u201cprayer,\u201d written by its founder, Fritz Perls. It reads:<\/p>\n
“I do my thing and you do your thing. I have always liked this text because, in a single stroke, it frees us from the power struggles involved in trying to change the other\u2014struggles that often appear to be driven by good intentions, but in reality arise from a refusal to accept reality as it is.<\/p>\n It reminds me of The Little Prince and his journey toward Earth. After leaving his planet, asteroid B-612, and before arriving on Earth, the Little Prince visits a series of small planets inhabited by a king, a vain man, a drunkard, a businessman, a lamplighter, and a geographer (asteroids 325 through 330). Through these encounters he learns new and important words\u2014such as admiration and ephemeral. Yet he does not remain on any of these planets. Quite simply, he is himself, and the others are others\u2014inhabitants of different asteroids.<\/p>\n Of all six encounters, the only person he feels drawn to is the lamplighter, because the lamplighter is the only one not absorbed in himself. Even so, they do not become friends. The lamplighter\u2019s planet is too small; its rhythm leaves no space for relationship. The Prince offers him a practical solution to his problem, but when the advice is rejected, he does not insist. He simply sympathizes\u2014and moves on.<\/p>\n Eventually, this is how the Little Prince reaches Earth, where the number of kings, businessmen, geographers, and the like multiplies endlessly. Up to this point, the principle \u201cI am me, you are you\u201d seems to hold perfectly.<\/p>\n The difficulty arises when the Prince meets the fox.<\/p>\n The fox asks to be tamed. And taming requires effort, patience, and desire. It is no longer simply \u201cI live my life, and you live yours.\u201d An encounter happens; after the encounter comes separation, and from that separation comes pain.<\/p>\n Why am I sharing all this?<\/p>\n Because of duality. To show that both aspects are true: that sometimes it can\u2019t be helped, and that sometimes something can still be done. It takes great wisdom to discern what belongs to which category\u2014what is within our power and what is not.<\/p>\n Perhaps the first step is simply to remember that the equation called \u201clife on Earth\u201d always has two sides.<\/p>\n And never to forget that.<\/p>\n Kameliya<\/p>\n \u2217Fritz Perls, Gestalt Therapy Verbatim (1969)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In Gestalt therapy there is a well-known text, often referred to as a \u201cprayer,\u201d written by its founder, Fritz Perls. It reads: “I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":152537,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[648],"tags":[692,655,673,649],"class_list":["post-151768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional-intelligence","tag-duality","tag-the-lessons-of-love","tag-various-psychotherapies","tag-relationships"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t
\nI am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
\nand you are not in this world to live up to mine.
\nYou are you and I am I,
\nand if by chance we find each other, it\u2019s beautiful.
\nIf not, it can\u2019t be helped.<\/em>“\u2217<\/em><\/p>\n
\n