{"id":151238,"date":"2012-02-05T11:31:11","date_gmt":"2012-02-05T09:31:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/espirited.com\/the-balance-between-giving-and-receiving\/"},"modified":"2026-02-13T20:51:50","modified_gmt":"2026-02-13T18:51:50","slug":"the-balance-between-giving-and-receiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/espirited.com\/en\/the-balance-between-giving-and-receiving\/","title":{"rendered":"The balance between giving and receiving"},"content":{"rendered":"

In systemic constellations and the work of their creator, Bert Hellinger<\/a>, there is a perspective that is perhaps less popular but certainly worth reflecting upon.<\/p>\n

As I shared in the article regarding Personal Conscience<\/b><\/a>, one of the three basic needs that maintain human relationships in a healthy state is the balance between giving and taking. This seems simple at first glance, but it can be quite complex, as giving and taking take many forms, and we cannot always see how balanced the exchange between partners truly is. Since the most common difficulties occur within intimate partnerships or marriages, the following refers specifically to that form of cohabitation.<\/p>\n

According to Hellinger, a fundamental aspect of this balance is that it must encompass not only the good but also the bad that happens between partners. In other words\u2014if we receive something good, we should return it reciprocally; if we receive something bad, we should also return it reciprocally. This is quite different from the popular attitude of not meeting evil with evil. In Christianity, it is even said that if someone strikes you on one cheek, you should turn the other. Here, however, the claim is the opposite, but with essential clarifications:<\/p>\n